The Idiot’s guide to Idiocy

Saint, Sinner, Victim, Bully, Entertainment, Annoyance, Brother, Father, Enemy, Friend we’re all different things to different people. It’s all a matter of perspective. I’ve been getting the feeling lately that I am without a core personality. I change to fit in. If a clown is required, then I am a clown.

Which brings me to the real question, just who the hell am I? I’m not even sure of that anymore. I wear so many different masks just to be accepted. Is acceptance really that important? Of course it is. Everyone craves acceptance. That’s why we have cliques. To belong. There are those who say that you don’t need to be accepted, as long as you are happy with what you are. But how can that be true? It’s a basic human need to be accepted, hardwired into us during creation. We are social creatures. Subconsciously or otherwise, we try to fit in.

How many of us can truly say that we don’t wear a different mask for different occasions? The dutiful child, the loving partner, the hated enemy, the innocent victim. We play different parts to suit our own purposes. Nothing wrong with that. For me though, I’ve lost track. I have no idea who I am anymore. Over achiever? Slacker? Stoner? Fucker? I’ve been all those things and more. Different things to different people. Just to fit in. To be accepted.

Who do you want me to be?

How many of us actually realize it? Consciously or otherwise we practice double standards when it comes to friendship. Come on, let’s be serious. There are those we call friends and we’d help help them without question, wish them a better life, yada yada yada. And then there are those we know, we hang out with them when there’s no one else to hang out with or when it’s too expensive to hang out with the usual group of friends.

Still classified under friends, but these are the people we abuse, put down and insult. They are "entertainment", having no other purpose than to give us a laugh at their expense. And yet we still call these people "friend". There should be a different term. I don’t think the word "friend" fits.

In a way it’s expected. There are friends who we’d do anything for and then there are "second class friends". They are only friends when no one else is around to entertain us. Two different standards of treatment. How… sad.