The Idiot’s guide to Idiocy

I actually got mail a few days ago. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I
opened it. Someone I knew in school is getting married. Sheesh. Nothing
like a wedding invitation to make you feel old. Maybe I wouldn’t have
felt as bad if the sender wasn’t an ex. That’s not the point though.

It
scares me to see so many marriages fail these days. People get divorced
as soon as the knot is tied. Fact. I wonder how many of these people
actually know what marriage is about? The romantics (read idiots),
will bite my head off when I say most people don’t know what marriage
is. Chorusing the same line "It’s about love". Really? I’m not talking
about TV marriages here people, real life is a whole different ball
game.

Marriage isn’t about love, it’s about tolerance. Ever
notice how "I love you" is usually followed by "let’s have kids"? Love
is just a chemical reaction in our brains designed to trigger the
instinct to breed. Procreate. Hardwired into our souls. Of course there
are those out there who have an excellent poker face and lie through
their teeth. They usually say "I’ll love you even when you’re old".
Whee.

Once you settle into the 7-12 year anniversary, things
start to change. That messiness you used to find cute starts to become
unbearable. The temper trantrums start happening more and more often.
Oh, and let’s not forget the complaining. Grumpy old people aren’t born
that way, they grow into it. And here we come to the real test of a
marriage. Just exactly how much can one tolerate the other? Love
conquers all? Love doesn’t make the piles of clothes lying lying all over the house disappear. Love doesn’t stop your significant other from
nagging (male or female, we all do it). Love doesn’t stop dirty dishes
piling up because someone doesn’t know how to pick up after themselves.
You can’t change other people, only yourself.

And so you do,
what was completely intolerable when you were single starts becoming
tolerable. When two people can find a middle ground between their
different personalities then a marriage can work. That’s marriage.
Tolerating the other half because you like their company. You enjoy
being around them. They make you feel like you don’t need anything or anyone else. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’m not saying
it’s a cake walk either. It takes work. Effort. Everyone hopes for a
person to change after marriage, some are just not prepared when that
change is a turn for the worse. Most newlyweds nowadays don’t even make
it past a year, and those that do end up silently hating each other
just because they’re too proud to admit they can’t stand each other and
get a divorce. Oh wait, I almost forgot the famous "we’re only together because of the kids" line.

What we see on TV is designed to entertain, give us a laugh, a tear. It truly is rare to see a happily married couple now. Those that have made it work, kudos! Keep it up. To those that can’t seem settle down without getting divorced in a year or two, maybe you should find someone who can accept you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.

After all, at the end of the day we all hope to sit on the porch with a loved one and watch the sunset together, stealing gazes at each other.

It’s like a really really weird restaurant. You’re never sure if you’re going to get a good seat, the waiters are oblivious, the food is inconsistent and doesn’t seem like it’s going to stop coming, add to all this, when you’re ready to leave, said waiter takes forever to bring you your cheque before you’re unceremoniously tossed out on to the street. Bleh.

For those of you a little slow on the uptake, no I’m not talking about dining, but rather, life itself. You can’t choose the circumstances you’re born into, any prayers directed to a higher power is usually ignored, there are ups and downs, sweet and bitter experiences and you can’t really decide when to leave.

Doesn’t do to think too hard about things you can’t change. Can’t really help the company you keep in life either. Best you can do is sit down and try to have a good time before it’s last call at the bar. That’s easier said than done, everyone else is also trying to have a good time, sadly the majority doesn’t care if everyone else is stepped on at their expense. Bastards.

For some it’s easier to whine and cry about "fate" and say it’s all part of God’s plan. Pfft. Sissies. God watches, that’s all there is to it. I haven’t seen any forms of divine intervention lately, have you? When it comes down to it, all that a person can do to have a better life lies in themselves. The blame game gets you sympathy, but doesn’t get you anywhere else.

Hey, if you can’t take all the problems that come attached with life, there’s always suicide

Cheque please, Garson! I’m done with my dining experience!