The Idiot’s guide to Idiocy

I actually got mail a few days ago. Couldn’t believe my eyes when I
opened it. Someone I knew in school is getting married. Sheesh. Nothing
like a wedding invitation to make you feel old. Maybe I wouldn’t have
felt as bad if the sender wasn’t an ex. That’s not the point though.

It
scares me to see so many marriages fail these days. People get divorced
as soon as the knot is tied. Fact. I wonder how many of these people
actually know what marriage is about? The romantics (read idiots),
will bite my head off when I say most people don’t know what marriage
is. Chorusing the same line "It’s about love". Really? I’m not talking
about TV marriages here people, real life is a whole different ball
game.

Marriage isn’t about love, it’s about tolerance. Ever
notice how "I love you" is usually followed by "let’s have kids"? Love
is just a chemical reaction in our brains designed to trigger the
instinct to breed. Procreate. Hardwired into our souls. Of course there
are those out there who have an excellent poker face and lie through
their teeth. They usually say "I’ll love you even when you’re old".
Whee.

Once you settle into the 7-12 year anniversary, things
start to change. That messiness you used to find cute starts to become
unbearable. The temper trantrums start happening more and more often.
Oh, and let’s not forget the complaining. Grumpy old people aren’t born
that way, they grow into it. And here we come to the real test of a
marriage. Just exactly how much can one tolerate the other? Love
conquers all? Love doesn’t make the piles of clothes lying lying all over the house disappear. Love doesn’t stop your significant other from
nagging (male or female, we all do it). Love doesn’t stop dirty dishes
piling up because someone doesn’t know how to pick up after themselves.
You can’t change other people, only yourself.

And so you do,
what was completely intolerable when you were single starts becoming
tolerable. When two people can find a middle ground between their
different personalities then a marriage can work. That’s marriage.
Tolerating the other half because you like their company. You enjoy
being around them. They make you feel like you don’t need anything or anyone else. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but I’m not saying
it’s a cake walk either. It takes work. Effort. Everyone hopes for a
person to change after marriage, some are just not prepared when that
change is a turn for the worse. Most newlyweds nowadays don’t even make
it past a year, and those that do end up silently hating each other
just because they’re too proud to admit they can’t stand each other and
get a divorce. Oh wait, I almost forgot the famous "we’re only together because of the kids" line.

What we see on TV is designed to entertain, give us a laugh, a tear. It truly is rare to see a happily married couple now. Those that have made it work, kudos! Keep it up. To those that can’t seem settle down without getting divorced in a year or two, maybe you should find someone who can accept you for who you are, not who you pretend to be.

After all, at the end of the day we all hope to sit on the porch with a loved one and watch the sunset together, stealing gazes at each other.

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 28th, 2006 at 9:46 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.