The Idiot’s guide to Idiocy

And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. We all depend on someone. I wish we didn’t have to, but that’s how the world works. We depend on the garbage man to make our trash magically disappear every time we put it outside our door. We depend on the farmers and fishermen to supply the grocer for our food. We depend on the gas companies to keep our cars running. Even anti social people depend on someone else (yes, I’m talking about you ‘addicts’ ^_^).

In this day and age being self sufficient is nothing more than a delusion. It sucks, and there’s nothing much you can do about it. Fine. I’ll accept that. But what’s the cost? Being dependent on anyone means having no control. The phrase take charge of your own destiny sounds about as hollow as an empty soda can. Might as well be a slave.

It’s fine if whatever you depend on actually is reliable. Take TMNet for example, sucky service at times (I say at times because there are some instances where they’re actually decent). That’s just one example, I’m sure all of you out there can come up with at least a dozen other examples each. Whether it be other people or services, the point is this: we all depend on someone/something. Depending on unreliability is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. Humans are notoriously unreliable yet we depend on each other.

We are all part of a convoluted web of lies, politics and favor currying. True independence is nothing more than an illusion. When we can choose what to be dependent on, choose wisely.

Too bad wisdom comes with such a heavy price.

Just exactly what is it? Breathing? That’s definitely proof of being alive but is it proof of life? I’m sure at some point or other we have been told or have told someone "Get a life!" And what exactly does that mean? Get a job so you can be another rat in a maze? Get a girlfriend so you can have someone to disappoint other than your parents?

I guess you can’t really say anyone doesn’t have a life until you have experienced being lifeless yourself. And just exactly what does that entail? It’s all a matter of perspective. What some people may term an exciting and fulfilling life might be about as dull as watching paint dry to someone else. You can’t really tell someone to get a life, they might want something completely different than what you had in mind.

So what is proof of life? Life doesn’t come with a nice little card like proof of citizenship. I guess the only proof we have is other people. The people we touch through our actions, the lives we can change through our deeds. At the end of the day it’s what we’re remembered for. For good or bad.

For those of us who are easily forgotten (like yours truly), if you want to have a life then go out and interact with other people more. Create memories.

I’ll just go hide in my pit while you do that =P

I don’t get it. If you hate someone enough you won’t even want to lay eyes on them, much less call them friend. Maybe it’s an act. A ploy. A cunning plan MUAHAHAHA. Yes, I hate myself. I hate what I’ve become, I hate what I was. I can’t stand waking up everyday and being me. Logically if I can’t stand myself then others should loathe me as well, right?

There is a way around it though. Hate has an opposite. If you can’t love, then you can’t hate. If you can’t be happy then you’ll never know sadness. If there is no hope then there is no despair. No trust, no betrayal. Simple as that. It’s a long road, but it’s not impossible. Nothing comes cheap, and if that is the price for peace of mind then so be it.

Does that make me less human? I don’t think so. You can’t be less than anything, you just are. It’s not for everyone, but for some of us it is the only recourse. The only way to trudge along in life. It makes things a little more acceptable. When all you can see in the future is despair then why hope? Get rid of hope and rest assured despair will disappear along with it.

Being cold hearted doesn’t mean you have to be a complete and utter bastard. It just means you’ll do what is required, without fear, without doubt. If that is the price for peace of mind I would gladly pay. It’s the only kind of peace anyone really has before the peace of eternal rest.

Ever had something happen to you that you’re completely sure was no fault of your own? Most likely it started because of someone you know. Car scratched just because your friend was driving like an idiot when you lent him your car? Wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t know anyone like that to begin with? Futile. We all crave companionship. And with companionship come "strings". A link that inevitably leads to trouble.

It reminds me of a "friend" I once knew. He picked a fight and I refused to help. For one simple reason. I don’t save people from their own stupidity, I’ll try and prevent it, but there’s no way in hell I’m sticking my neck out for someone who’s being an ass. You get what you deserve. Don’t get me wrong, I would have stood there and watched, but I’d also send him to the hospital later if needed. I just won’t defend someone who’s being an idiot. Some call that cowardice, maybe it is. Whatever you call it, dragging others down because of your actions just doesn’t sit well with me. Luckily this time it didn’t bring me trouble, but what about next time?

I guess that’s why I say I don’t have friends. I am the cause of my own damnation, no one else. I’d be perfectly happy being alone, no one can drag me down with them. In reality though that’s not the case, guilt by association is the rule of thumb. Be even remotely associated to anyone and you’re in for trouble, even it is no fault of your own. Think of society as a pond, one small deed affects a larger whole. It’s like being the child of someone rich, you might not do anything wrong, and by yourself perfectly safe from kidnappings, but just because your dad is rich YOU are the one in danger.

It is wishful thinking, but to be completely independent is impossible. Invisible strings linking you and other people will always be there, bring nothing but misery. When someone you know does something, rest assured it affects you as well. I’m still human, I do have the foolish hope I won’t be alone some day. Not going to risk it though. Like a fortress, you’re only safe as long as you don’t let any potential enemies in.

Keep the gate locked.

The only time we can see kindness and sincerity is on the boob tube. Advertisements are nice, they give you a warm fuzzy feeling exactly the way they were designed to. Movies do the same, that’s why Forrest Gump was a box office hit, everyone wants to feel good so why not make some money off it?

Now, reality on the other hand…

There is no more kindness, I’d be the first to admit I don’t stop for accidents (to watch or to help). I won’t give up something of mine for the sake of others. Why do it? Do good deeds perpetuate more good deeds? I don’t think so. How many times have we helped someone, only to see them turn around and screw someone else over? How many times, instead of scolding someone and yelling like and idiot, have you given advice, spoken slowly and just reminded said person "that’s not nice, don’t do it again"?

Most acts of kindness are exactly that, an act, a way to score points while playing that most wretched of all life games, politics. I’m not saying there’s no hope for humanity, history has proven that in dire circumstances, humanity will rise and show it’s better side. Either through strife or through something truly miraculous and inspiring.

Things like that don’t happen in real life, it’s just TV.

Ever feel like the choices you made in life has only lead you to a dead end? I have. Regretting it won’t change anything and thinking too much about it doesn’t help either. I wish life came with a reset button, screw up too many times and you can always start from scratch.

I believe that life is like a gigantic flow chart which starts at point of birth and branches off depending on your choices. Some choices may lead to a better life, some lead only to misery and disappointment. The thing is, you don’t really know what the outcome of said choice is until you make one. Sucky. I guess it’s part of the cosmic joke. It’s always fun watching mice scramble around in a maze not knowing where to go, maybe God is doing the same thing to us.

Sadly, there is no such thing as a reset. We make our choices and live with them, never knowing the full impact our choices have in the grand scheme of things. We might as well be blind mice. The only thing that we can do however is to think our choices through. They say enough forethought can avert disaster.

Maybe.

Ever feel like you’re being ignored? Like the whole is passing by and not a single soul even knows who you are? I used to feel rather down when I think about that, nope, not anymore. I mean yes, I still long for female attention (which guy doesn’t?), but attention by itself can get rather annoying.

I’m talking about the wrong kind of attention (it’s a gaming rant folks!). About 2 months ago I discovered "Space Cowboy". Pretty decent IMHO. Game play is addictive and aside from the occasional lag burst and stupid players it’s a rather nice break from the real world. I could go kill monsters, fight other players, even take part in ‘nation wars’. It’s fun. As a newbie all I did was spawn and die. Didn’t matter, I got to kill too ^_^. Now on the other hand….

Going to war for me now is like diving into a pit of angry, well… pit bulls. If i ever had any complaints about getting noticed oh boy do I ever regret it now. It’s not like I do it on purpose, shoot at me and I’ll shoot back. Simple. Recently however I’ve had at least 3 gang up on me @_@. NOT fun.

Oh well… I guess it really goes to show, be careful what you wish for…

Being irritating is an art form. Some people are just born irritating but it takes a considerable amount of effort to act irritating. Why do it? Simple. It’s to keep other people from getting to close. Letting anyone in just leads to disappointment or worse, heartbreak. It’s the ideal way to live, but it no doubt is the safest. I mean, just like in war, you can’t get shot if there’s no ammo. Being close to anyone enables them to hurt you, intentionally or otherwise.

I guess, the less people who really know you, the simpler your life becomes. "Stand alone". Being without any attachments, emotional or otherwise. It definitely can get lonely, but at least you don’t get any nasty surprises. The only drawback comes when you’re not fully prepared for the price. Adopting that lifestyle means only watching from afar, never fully being apart of "Life". Completely transient. I don’t mind it one bit. As long as there are pretty girls to feast my eyes on, it doesn’t matter if I’ll never get to know them, they probably don’t even want to know me. Works better for both parties that way.

Some might say that it’s a sad existence. They’re entitled to their opinions. Some of us are just too jaded to argue.

They say a tiger can never change it’s stripes. I agree. Same goes for people. The funny thing is no one seems to realize it. I’ve witnessed numerous attempts by others to give advice and constructively point out faults so that one may better themselves. Don’t bother. It doesn’t work. Said person will of course pretend to listen or even accept what you have to say, but the truth of the matter is they’re only doing that because it’s the polite thing to do. Most likely while you’re saying all this they’re thinking ’shaddap bitch!’

No, people can’t change. "People" are, to put it bluntly, stupid, selfish, greedy, scheming and pretty much no better than animals. The difference? We know how to hide it. That’s what they call politics. The art of being polite. Oh don’t get me wrong, I’m sure some people out there are truly sincere, but I’ve yet to meet one. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I’d like to think we’re better than that, I keep hoping one day, I’ll witness some selfless act that proves me wrong.

Of course I’m negative. It’s because all I see around me is negativity. Faith in the human race is definitely misplaced, but I still (foolishly enough) have faith in them. And I HATE myself for it. I should know better. Actually I do, I don’t have faith in women. That’s why I’m still single I guess. Now now ladies, don’t get ahead of yourselves, I see it coming. "All we want is security" Hmm…. Security = money in today’s world yes? There was a time when security meant dependability, trust and the knowledge you could grow old with your partner. Not anymore. Now you’d just as easily get dumped the moment something better appears on the horizon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just stating what I see happening around me.

Yeah yeah, I’ve heard it all before, "Go out and meet people if you’re that lonely". What’s the point? I have nothing to offer other than myself. And that honestly, isn’t good enough in this day and age. It leads to disappointment. So I’d rather just be left alone, festering in my own hate. I’ve stopped carrying those bricks, I can’t make society better by pointing out what I see is a decline in moral standards. We’re human, we can change for the better, but we refuse to. Where is this all going? Stop giving advice. Let that idiot live his own selfish life. Don’t bother because it doesn’t make a difference. People will never change. Selfishness and greed rule the day.

I want to be wrong about this, I hope to God I am.

Recently some people have been trying to score points with me by emphasizing that they help people a lot. Wrong person to try it on dudes. There shouldn’t even be a reason why you help other people. Do it because you want to. Doing it so you can score points with people around you just demeans the deed. Kinda like when someone tells me they value certain things, complete and utter bull. The fact that you have to let people know what your values are just shows that you don’t practice said values.

A good deed should be committed under complete sincerity (or better still while being braindead, that way you can’t even think of an ulterior motive for doing said deed ^_^). I guess once the world starts being that way we can all stop thinking we owe someone. Like that movie with Kevin Spacey and the Sixth Sense kid, um… Hayley Joel Osment.

Help others because you want to and don’t expect repayment for a good deed, only losers do that! ^_^

P.S. Bleh me going to fail me test next week T_T